:3

Guysguysguysguysguysguysguys.

I have a job.

At Subway.

Holla if u wana free sammich~

Yum.

We decorated/created a holiday gingerbread train!

Winter plans go as followed;

• build snowmen.
• watch Christmas movies.
  -The Grinch (Taylor Momsen version bc qt).
  -Freddy Krueger marathon (bc hence green/red sweater).
  -A Christmas Story.
  -Shrek the Halls.
  -Home Alone 1&2.
  -Bad Santa.
• create/decorate gingerbread family.
• bake cookies (bells, snowmen, ribbons, gingerbread men, trees).
• decorate the Christmas tree.
• buy a winter/holiday/snowy sweater.
• buy presents. 
• watch the ball drop.
• whatever else I feel like adding to this.

Hold my Hand.

Dear &*%$%^&*,

I didn't really want to dedicate a letter to you but the more I think about it, the more it pisses me off. For two months, we were inseparable. I could barely go to the bathroom by myself without you tagging along. You introduced me to all your friends, told me secrets that friends you've had for five years didn't know about you, spent so much money on me, invited me home to meet your family and made plans with me without asking first. You didn't even know I existed until the first day of school this year.

In the beginning, I didn't really think we'd be friends. I thought that offer for a ride back to the high school was a one time thing. It quickly escalated into something much more than that. You became dependent on me. I didn't realize it at the time but it's because you wanted something more than friendship between us.

A part of me wishes I would of picked up the hints in the beginning because a week or so after we started hanging out all the time, I developed feelings for you. They weren't deep ones but they could of grown to be. But at the end of the day, I knew I would of been just setting myself up for a trap. You weren't completely over your ex boyfriend and there were several times where you stated that he's coming back. The truth is though, he isn't coming back. He broke up with you almost seven months ago and he's in a relationship with someone new and he seems happy with her. I even told you this and you said you needed to cling to someone new in order to get over him. I'm not your fill-in ****. Who would ever get in a relationship with someone who's willing to drop their current other as soon as their old one wants to be painted back in the picture?

You didn't like that. I guess you weren't use to getting shot down and it probably took you by surprise. When I was around you, I didn't sugar-coat anything. I'm not like that anymore. Because of it, I've lost so many friends. I use to surround myself with people who couldn't take the truth. I wasn't about to backtrack, not even for you. Even though I liked you and I wanted something more than to be your friend, I didn't allow myself to go down that road.

You left because of it. I jumped into a relationship with a different girl and you wrote me off. Because of that, it just proves that I was right about you all along. I was a filler, a distraction. I still can't believe you wanted to move in together or how you wanted me to spend the holidays with your family. We were never even dating and you claimed I was yours. I don't really miss you. I miss your friends. You introduced me to two people I was quite fond of. Sometimes I wonder if it'd be odd if I just showed up at his house without you clinging to my side. Sometimes I get the urge to send him (the other him) a text message, I never do though.

Anyway.

Just to sum this all up; you're a cunt for wasting my time, okay. 

Holla.

We g0t dat hipstuh sw@q!!!111!~

I bet his D is a 10 incher and that's if you fold it in half.

^^^^ D'awh, look at my bb.
So, I've been thinking about how the world is suppose to blow up next month and we're all doomed but I simply won't let that happen. I refuse to die before getting the chance to meet my love and hug him and smell him and shake his hand and blush and see him smile at me and just, omfg. I probably won't even meet him until next summer and he'll be 30 but that's okay because I'll be 18 so even if we ended up making sweet love, it'd be legal. I wonder if he orgasms in like, a singing voice - his high pitched singing voice going, "OHHHHHHHHHHHHH." Awh, that'd be cute. I'd get him to sing to me AND he'd be making happy noises. Two birds, one stone. Okay, I'm getting insanely creepy right now and I don't usually talk about Vic like this unless you're Shanshan, so, I'll stop. Loljk. And I'd get pregnant and pop out a Victor Vincent Fuentes Jr and he'd be oh, so beautiful but not nearly as perfect as his father because come on, it's Vic. It's MY Vic. Awh, okay. I love you so, so, so so, so, so much. <3 :*

Untitled.

It's been six years since you've been taken from me.
There still isn't a day that goes by that you don't cross my mind.
I miss and love you so much, Momma. <3

All Hail the Heartbreaker.

Continued.

Dear %(%$%^&*,

We tried. We tried to have a relationship and it didn't turn out as I hoped. I kept my fingers crossed that things between us would spark and we'd be forever together. Okay, that's a big lie. I knew from the very beginning that we weren't going anywhere. And I'm sorry that I lead you on -  at least I stopped it before your feelings actually became serious.

There's two reasons how I knew we wouldn't last long.

1. We're different. I don't know why they say 'opposites attract' because they really don't. You like to drink, smoke whatever, party - drama. I don't like to do any of those things. Yes, I'd rather get drunk than get high but that doesn't mean I LIKE drinking. I was just never a party-scene person. I wish I was. I wish I was okay with going to parties and passing a joint with random strangers and just being myself. But if I want to be myself, then being myself means reading a book, obsessing over teenage soaps, finding lyrics that relate to me so much, sit on Tumblr and reblog pictures and quotes that explain my feelings that I can't seem to put into words and sleep. I'm a calm person. And I'm shy. And I truly am quiet. The reason I thought maybe we'd go somewhere in the beginning was because you opened up to me about being in treatment for your eating disorder. I thought, 'Finally, someone who understands.' but that didn't connect us at all. Because you overcame your eating disorder. You still have all the negative thoughts but at least you can fucking eat normally. I'm not at that phase and I probably won't be there for a long, long, long time. I just .. I don't know. We don't have the same sense of humor, I guess we do a little but not enough. I'm sure if we hung out more and alone, I could get to the point of being my complete self around you but I don't have the energy to try. I don't want to be with you. There's one person I want to be with. And she's not here.

2. The second reason we're never going to happen again is because I wasn't ready for a relationship. I broke up with my ex girlfriend two months ago, four days after that, this other guy showed interest in me but then changed his mind and that hurt and then a friend of mine told me she liked me but wasn't looking for a girlfriend and that was only a day before me and you decided to date. I've been toyed with. I've been confused. I've been hurt. And I guess because of all that happening, I turned myself off. While we were together, I didn't carry on a conversation. I didn't really care to. The only thing I wanted to do was sleep or get home as fast as possible to talk or watch a movie or sit in silence with my best friend. She's the only person I can just be around and not have to try or feel out of place or want to be away from - she's just her and I'm just me.

You're a friend. It's probably best you stay that way. Again, I really am sorry.

Relevant, so relevant.

"I'm afraid that you'll be the only person I'll ever actually want. I'm afraid that my one and only chance at possible happiness has passed me by. What if all the people I meet after you aren't good enough? I'm so afraid I'll close myself off to everyone with the excuse that no one will ever be as good as you, no one will ever make me feel the way you did. So what's the point in trying if I already know that no one will ever measure up? But I don't want to be this way. I want to love freely, to fall without hesitation. I want to have hope in the people around me and in myself but it all seems so pointless."

                  -Marianna Paige

Christina Ricci though.

"Sometimes it feels like we're all living in a Prozac Nation; the United States of Depression."

          -Elizabeth Wurtzel

Sugar skulls wiss da biddie.