I just needed somewhere to write down my tattoo ideas. And since no one reads this blog anymore, holla at the privacy.

• 'Hopeless' on my right foot.
• 'Romantic' on my left foot.
• A 'B' on my right big toe.
• A small dragonfly on my left big toe.
• 'Sadness is neither' on the outer side of my right hand.
• 'Beautiful nor poetic' on the outsider of my left hand.
• The world continents on my feet with ocean/trees/sky/landscapes filling them in.
• 'Inhale' on the inner part of my right elbow.
• 'Exhale' on the inner part of my left elbow.
• Flowers (haven't decided what kind yet) starting from the middle of my forearm growing up to the middle of my upper arm. They would be slowly opening (1/3 blossomed) (Right arm)
• They would finish blossoming on the opposite arm.
• Black and white portrait of my dad on my right shoulder.
• My mom on my left shoulder.
• The entire piece would come together to represent 1) my parents gifting me with life 2) it would appear as if the flowers were breathing.
• The chemical make up of depression on the inside of my right forearm.
• The chemical make up of happiness on the inside of my left forearm.
• 'Darling, you'll be okay.' on the inside of my upper right arm.
• 'Just keep breathing.' on the inside of my upper left arm.
• 'Open your mind' on the back of my neck.
• Back piece; a small child standing on a stack of books peeking over a brick wall into the land of creativity. This would represent a child's mind in the mist of their imagination. (I'd like for it to take up the middle portion of my back. Not too big, but not tiny whatsoever.)
• Cinderella and Snow White kissing on my left thigh. Above them in flowy/magical/Disney font would say 'Not every princess..'
• Their princes kissing on my right thigh. '..Needs a prince.' This would represent 1) equal love 2) teach young girls finding your prince charming isn't what your life should be about
• 'Love always, grandpa' in his handwriting on my right chest/boob/area.
• I'd like two elephants facing each other on my chest. Their bodies would just be a medium outline and wherever there's a joint, there'd be a little space. It'd like similar to a dot-to-dot puzzle because the elephants would be incomplete. Once you get to the trunks, they'd be entangled with each other. And since that's the only body part touching, it'd be completed and even filled in. I'd want the inside to be colored in with different patterns - shapes, flowers, lines, ect. In the space of the two trunks, I want either the word 'collide' or 'entangled'. This would represent how two people complete each other; like finding your missing puzzle piece. 

I'd like to get some sort of knuckle tattoo.

I'd also like to get a small sugar skull to represent my friendship with my best friend but I have to discuss this with her and I don't know where I'd place it yet.

Current tattoos;

• A flying sparrow on my left wrist.
• 'This too shall pass' on my right wrist.

In other news, I think I'm going to get my tattoo this summer. (Crossing fingers for June/July) I originally just wanted one of my collarbones tattooed but the more I think about it, the more I need both of them done. I can not stand the thought of one being bare and the other not. I'll think I put 'Just keep breathing' on my right side (your left) and 'Darling, you'll be okay' on my left side (your right).

* Holla at Shanshan's blog title name - yo grl *

I just think both set of lyrics go grand together and their both from my two favorite bands, so yeah. And their perfect songs with perfect lyrics and they'll look p3rf3ct on my skin, okay.

Four days left of high school.

I'm going to be sad when it's over.

But as of right now, in this moment, please hurry the fuck up.

I am so tired of these people and in this town.

He means everything to me.

Maroon 5 >>>>>>

Stupid crush on a stupid boy.

You guys, Brand New is such a lovely band. I can't stop replaying their music, omgomgomgomgomgomgomg.

Jess is a lyrical genius. Fash0 ~

Go find yourself.
Quit trying so fucking hard to mold yourself into me.

kruuegs

Follow me on Twitter, you little shits.

Omg. It's 11:30 on a Friday night and I'm at home drinking my dad's alcohol because I'm sad and I'm sad over a boy who doesn't care and it's really pathetic to be even blogging about this because for 1) it's a personal matter and 2) I don't know who reads this and I'm singing sad songs and I'm on the verge of crying and I've already binged/purged almost four boxes of cereal and now there's not any milk left and that upsets me because I really wanted a pb&j but you need milk to go with it for obvious reasons and I really miss my best friend and I don't know why she even puts up with me because I'm always talking about boy and I'm sure it gets old real fast and I should stop drinking because my dad is going to notice and it doesn't even taste good because it's some coconut bullshit and whoever said you couldn't spell correctly while you're drinking is a lying asshole because I'm doing just fine and I'm even wiping away tears and there's puke in my hair and it's touching my face and I should be repulsed by this but it doesn't even phase me and I wish I was like any other 17 year old girl but I'm not and I should stop playing sad songs and feeling sorry for myself because where's that going to get me and I should stop being such a cunt to people who care about me but I can't help it and I'm just really sad because I've never liked someone this much and it's the onLY THING ON MY MIND RIGHT NOW AND I'M SO SORRY.

While I'm reading your blog, I'm mentally fixing every spelling and grammar error that you've failed to correct.

You're a senior.

You're eighteen.

You're going to college.

You've been taught proper grammar for a reason. Use it.

Done.

Awh, I love you.

In a perfect town, in a perfect state, in a perfect world, we'd all receive what we wish. We'd all meet the love of our lives, marry them and live happily ever after by their side. We'd all do exceptionally well in school, be accepted into the college of our choice and apply to the job of our dreams. We'd shake hands with our boss, shoot a smile at our co-workers and be walking into the door by dinner time. We'd kiss our significant other on the cheek, high-five our children and quickly feed the family cat. We'd all be happy. We'd all grow old. We'd all fade away with a grin on our face.

But Utopia doesn't exist.

Coffee, tea, diet soda.

Fasting from the 8th to the 20th.
What's up.

You sit there in your heartache, waiting on some beautiful boy to save you from your old ways.

I don't know. This just makes me happy.

All The Small Things.

Dear %(#*(%&W*(&*(%&W*,

Since I haven't posted in a really long time, I thought I'd write a letter about him. The only problem is I don't have anything to say. I mean, I don't even know why I like him so much. No, it's not his looks. When I first met him, I didn't think anything of him. In fact, I thought his best friend was adorable. But after being around him and getting to know him, I realized he's actually quite perfect. I began to love his looks and his hair and his clothes and smile and his eyes and his voice and the way he says 'Yeah?'. And the way he just carries himself. And how he's sweet to everyone. He tries to be mean but you could never take him seriously because he just can't be cruel to anyone.

 I really hope he's not one of those guys that goes home, looks in the mirror and is corrupted with negative thoughts. He seems to be one of them. I hope when he goes away to college in the summer, he meets someone that shows him he's beautiful just how he is. I don't know why 'beautiful' is only used to describe women. I mean, a man can be beautiful. He is. I want him to be happy. I need to know that he'll be happy.

 Have you ever just met someone and clicked with them so well? We're constantly meeting people. At first, we shake hands, say hello, automatically judge them, make small talk and get on with our lives. But, then there's those rare people who step into your life and actually make an impression. They prove that humanity isn't as bad as you thought it was. You begin to feel attached to them. And if you have an addictive personality like I do, you long to be around them all the time. And the worst thing about developing feelings for someone you know is too good for you is the fact that you'll never have them and that alone, can break your heart.

Perfect baby is perfect.

I'm having an extremely difficult time deciding which shirt to get with this weeks' paycheck. I really want the Einstein one bc omg but I want the San Diego one bc Vic but I want the Hail Satan one bc perf but I want the Drugs one bc must have. ... I'll get them all, okay.

2 fab 4 u ~~~~

Because I've been too lazy to actually write a "Dear %*#(*%(#".

I just want to watch American's Next Top Model, drink my Arnold Palmer tea, cuddle Abe and be happy. Like, is that too much to ask for. Omg.

I often wonder if you're trying to be me.

Holla for a dolla.

Okay, I have a plan for my next paycheck.

Lets say my check is going to be $350.

$80-$100 for gas.
$100 for sweaters/books/mugs/movies/make-up/whatever.
$30 for coffee/tea.
$20 for food/shakes/snacks.
$100 for savings.

I've been trying to make a budget ever since I started working and so far it's been going awful. I can't seem to control myself when it comes to money. Lets hope this time is different. God.

Numba dos.

Awh, I ordered this except the inside is a pretty blue/green instead of pink. c:

Purging in public bathrooms is about as classy as I can get.

I don't understand why love is so complicated.

My entire life story.

"But then I realized I was holding onto something that didn't exist anymore. That the person I missed didn't exist anymore. People change. The things we like and dislike change. And we can wish they didn't all day long but that never works."

One man wolf pack.

If anyone from high school reads this blog, which is 80% of you, talk to me.
Lets become great friends.
I'm a bit weird and psychotic and clingy and obsessive but hey, we'll get past all that.
You'll learn to love me.
And it'll turn into a beautiful friendship.

Okay.
605.880.2058
Just text me, you can even stay a gray face if you want to.
I already love you.
Kbbs.